BELIEF TRIMMINGS (Tribute to Primary Innovation) – Mawar Marzuki

in this suitcase, i’ve let the overgrowth
of beliefs, grow over me..
i’ve stood thousands of time
in front of hundreds of pairs
of innocent eyes
waiting agog
as the disciple of knowledge
in the humid monsoon climate
their passion wilting over structures, subject
verb agreement,
layers and layers of formulae and concepts
adjacent to the word “classroom”

this, my friend
is the suitcase of belief
and i’m revisiting the content
leaving the ‘self’ as an observer
confused between my passion
and subtleties of theories
they are inseparable
should i keep them all
or should i hold no more
the drillings that boasted their definitions
in my dictionary of belief?

should i live
in other parenthesis
the symbol ‘bracket’ is not what i meant
not “ qualifying, explanatory, or appositive
word, phrase, clause, bla bla bla ..often a
characteristic intonation indicated in writing
by commas, parentheses, or dashes”
(tribute to online dictionary)”

by unpacking this suitcase
i will lead the life of a teacher in parenthesis
it isnt easy
making new terms with the graffiti drawn on
its cover
the content needs innovation
i am still a teacher who finds her strength
holding on to her pedagogical needs
to deliver and motivate
drawing on her pedagogical knowledge
by reading the needs shone through
those innocent clever eyes
that have mountains to share
i am going to lead the life in parenthesis
no longer
a teacher who relies on the pedagogy of
a teacher who feeds on the pedagogy of
a teacher who dances through the pedagogy of
i have to stand tall and say
i am not a walking dictionary
for meanings change
and beliefs need trimmings

Mawar marzuki

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